How do I help my family member through autoimmune disease?
Strive for good communication. Constructive communication brings families closer together which results in more support provided from and to all.
The following can be used to maximize effective communication:
- Always be cautious and gentle with feelings that are being expressed.
- Schedule time for conversations, specifically content related to autoimmune disease e.g. the effect autoimmune disease has on each family member.
- Allow time for others to think about what they would like to be discussed.
- Allow a reasonable time period for discussion
- Feelings should be expressed in a clear and objective way. The use of threatening language must be avoided.
- Ask questions to clarify any points that were not understood.
Listen carefully. Listening is an essential part of communication. You won’t truly understand how someone feels if you don’t hear them.
Tips for improving your listening habits:
- Don’t interrupt people when they are communicating their feelings or opinions
- Make eye contact
- Nod your head to show you understand
- Restate their comment in your own words
Understanding their condition is real. An autoimmune disease is a very real condition, symptoms are not always noticeable and some “experts” claim that they can cure autoimmune disease. This causes an egregious misconception that autoimmune disease is not a real disease.
Realize your limitations. It is important to distinguish between what you can and cannot do to help your loved one. Try to help with small things like picking up their prescription from the pharmacy or taking out the garbage for them. Don’t be reluctant to ask your loved one to tell you what they need, this helps in times of emergencies and to reduce stress. If your loved one won’t tell you what they need, try to recognise it. In most cases, they will not refuse your help if you help them anyway, but don’t make it a big scene.
Know how you can help. Keep your loved one on a path to good health. This includes cooking healthy meals, encouraging a full night’s sleep and planning ahead as well as packing healthy snacks for outside trips. You can also show your support by attending yoga classes with them or joining in on a hobby they enjoy. Family and friends should still meet for coffee or invite them to parties although the host will need to prepare some dishes according to their dietary needs.
Value your loved one. Those with autoimmune disease are generally more appreciative of the smaller things in life and have developed a more sophisticated coping mechanism due to their personal victory over the disease.